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Kevin goes to see Nick, officially because he's got nothing better to do, but mostly because he's been looking through some of his old home videos lately, and seeing Nick's pubescent face light up in a self-conscious smile as he waves to the camera is enough to warrant a visit.
Nick looks good. Kevin can't figure out if he's been under the tanning bed a lot lately, or if he's got one of those spray ones that are probably healthier for your skin, or if he's really just been out in the sun that much lately. It doesn't really matter except for the fact that the tan makes his smile even brighter than it usually is.
"Thought you'd never get here, man," he says, pulling Kevin into the house. He gives Kevin one of those one-armed, back-slapping hugs, then seems to think twice about it and pulls Kevin in closer, resting his chin on Kevin's shoulder. Kevin smiles into the crook of Nick's neck and rubs the back of Nick's head affectionately.
When Nick pulls back he doesn't look directly up again. "How's Kristin?" he asks as he heads for the kitchen.
Kevin trails after him, leaning against the doorframe as he watches Nick rummage through one of his cupboards. "She's good," he says simply. He knows that's not what Nick wants to talk about.
Nick pulls down a bag of peanuts from the cupboard and turns around, grinning for real now. "So did you hear it?" he asks. "On the radio, I mean."
Kevin smiles back. "Yeah, I heard it." He'd written the radio station and the time down on a piece of paper, using an extra thick red pen, and stuck it up on his fridge so he wouldn't forget. As soon as the song had finished, Kevin already had a list in his head of things to improve; harmonies to re-work, a reminder to Brian to be more thorough with his enunciation, and they definitely had to put some time in to make the ending more solid. But it's a good song. It's a great song, and they're doing just fine without all of his suggestions. He's not sure whether to be proud of that or feel just a little bitter.
Nick grabs a bowl from a different cupboard and pours the peanuts into it, his smile changing into a smirk. "Bet you cried."
"So what have you been up to?" Kevin asks. Nick snorts and looks up, because of course he isn't fooled by the quick change of subject for a second.
"Just hanging out. Waiting for things to kick back into action." Nick grabs two beers from the fridge, stopping briefly to stick his head inside. It's unbearably hot today and Kevin really wants to do the same; his shirt is starting to cling to his back.
Sighing, Nick closes the fridge again and grabs their stuff, balancing the bowl of peanuts on top of one of the beer cans. Kevin watches the way he blows the hair away from his forehead, only to have it flop back down again almost immediately. Nick blinks, looking distracted for a minute before his gaze flickers up to meet Kevin's and, realizing that Kevin's already looking at him, smiles a little.
And suddenly Kevin remembers why it's been so long since he's last been to visit Nick on his own.
Two beers turn to four, four beers turn to six, and Kevin loses track of how long they sit out on Nick's patio, stretched out lazily and watching the shadows grow longer. When they run out of new stories to tell they lapse into a brief silence, Kevin tipping his head back and watching the light dusted pink of sunset creep across the sky. There's a nice buzz going through his system, nothing too bad, but enough that Kevin knows he needs to be careful whenever he decides to stand up.
His eyelids have just started to droop pleasantly when he hears the question from someplace far away: "Don't you miss it?"
Kevin's head is too heavy to lift, so he simply tilts it to the side and blinks. Nick's sprawled out in his patio chair, fingers idly toying with one of the empty beer cans. The hairs at his temples are damp and curl up just a little, and in the last rays of sunlight the skin glistens in the hollow of his throat. When he looks up to meet Kevin's gaze, his eyes are bright from the alcohol.
"Of course," Kevin finally replies. Some days he still wakes up feeling unsettled and has to check the entire house to make sure that everything is where it's supposed to be.
Nick's gaze doesn't waver. "So what you have now," he says, the words coming slowly and just a bit slurred, "that's enough?"
There's a gleam in Nick's eyes that Kevin's not used to, something that makes the hairs at the back of his neck prickle in attention. Kevin scrubs a clumsy hand over his face, tries to clear the sudden fuzz out. "Well," he says, with a small shrug. "I have Kristin."
Nick's sudden laugh cuts through the heavy heat. It's not even a real laugh, more like a trial run for a laugh, let out on a long exhale. Kevin jolts anyway. He looks over at Nick, who's tipping his head back against the chair, a tight smile on his lips. "Yeah," he sighs, and Kevin can see his throat work when he swallows. "Everyone loves Kristin."
They stumble into the house when the mosquitoes come out, and Kevin realizes he's probably had one beer too many when he can't stop staring at the small of Nick's back. There's an odd whirring sound in his head and Kevin shakes it quickly, fumbling behind his back to slide the glass door shut.
"God, it's hot in here, too," Nick groans, surveying the room. He turns around, opens his mouth to speak, then clamps it shut, and Kevin realizes he probably hasn't stopped staring yet. "What?"
"Nothin'," Kevin mumbles, reaching up to massage his neck. His hand comes back damp with sweat.
The room is dark, shadows creeping up from everywhere, but there's still a tiny bit of light from outside illuminating Nick's face. He tilts his head curiously, damp hair flopping to the side as he looks Kevin up and down. Then, in one fluid motion, he yanks his t-shirt over his head and tosses it off to the side.
For one very long second, Kevin's sure the heat is going to make him crumble to his knees.
Nick turns back around just as suddenly, leaving Kevin to exhale a quiet, shaky breath. "M'dizzy," Nick mutters, turning around himself one more time before he flops down on the floor with a loud sigh. "Oh, that's good," he breathes, sliding into a long, slow stretch that would make a cat jealous. "C'mon, Kev. Floor's much colder."
Kevin knows he should hesitate, knows that in the grand scale of things this is a Very Bad Idea, but he's still too drunk to listen to the logic side of his brain. He stumbles forward, lying down next to Nick on the carpeted floor. The ceiling is spinning above him and Kevin blinks rapidly to get it to stop.
"Nice, isn't it?" Nick murmurs, then squirms a bit and whines, "still too hot," and then Kevin feels even more squirming next to him.
"What're you doing?" he asks.
"Taking off my shorts." A moment later Kevin hears another one of those contented little sighs and Nick's arm grazes his, very briefly. "Much better."
Kevin closes his eyes tight. "Don't you have air-conditioning?" he demands roughly, shifting away just an inch.
Nick breathes out a laugh next to him. "Fucking thing broke yesterday," he mutters, and Kevin hears fabric scratch against the carpet. "They can't fix it till Monday. Don't you wanna get some stuff off, too?"
Kevin's shirt is sticking to his stomach and his thighs feel raw and heated where they've been rubbing uncomfortably against his slacks all day. "Maybe later," he says, after a long moment of trying to get his voice to work.
"Your loss." Even more squirming and Kevin's so, so tempted to open his eyes and just watch for a while. "Think I'm just gonna sleep down here," Nick mumbles, and he sounds like he's halfway there already.
"Don't be stupid," Kevin hears himself mutter. "Wan' me to carry you up?"
"Shuddup." Kevin feels a light breeze against his arm when Nick tries to swat it. "Don't baby me. 'm not a kid."
He says that with such determination, even when he's partly dozed off, and Kevin's answering bark of a laugh borders on desperate. "I know," he says, trying to ignore the way his stomach just dropped.
They must've dozed off, because the next time he opens his eyes Nick's hand is on the hollow of his hipbone, hot and unforgiving as it slides slowly up his side. Kevin doesn't remember taking his clothes off, but it's definitely a bare torso Nick's got his hand on, definitely a bare ankle that Nick's toes are touching. Kevin stays still when Nick's hand swirls over his shoulder and back down his arm, fingers dancing over the palm of his hand before ending up back on his hip, squeezing it hard. Behind him Nick squirms closer, nuzzling his nose against the back of Kevin's neck - but it's only when Nick murmurs his name, wet lips forming the breathy-soft word against his skin, that Kevin turns around, propping himself up on an elbow.
Nick's eyes are bright, brighter still in the moonlight, and there's a flush riding high on his cheeks as meets Kevin's gaze dead on. He looks like a cross between the defiant teenager Kevin used to know and the man who's all too aware of how he affects Kevin now. Kevin's eyes aren't closed this time, and he takes in the sight of Nick sprawled out on the floor in just his underwear like a starving man who's just gotten all the food and wine he could ask for.
Nick watches him carefully. Then, suddenly, his eyes get just a little bit harder and he reaches over to tug at Kevin's hip again. Kevin falls from his side to land half on top of him, bracing his hands on either side of Nick's head before he ends up crushing him.
There's moonlight in Nick's hair and it slides down to the hard square of his jaw when he juts his chin up, growls, "let it happen," like he actually thinks Kevin has any kind of say in it at this point, and Kevin gives up.
He looks down the long expanse of Nick's chest, rising up and down so quickly now, and the tight clench in his stomach that's been there for so long, every time Nick laughs or looks at him or breathes, really, if he's going to be honest with himself - that clench curls into a dark, desperate heat pooling in the pit of his stomach, and before Kevin knows it his fingers are trailing along the waistband of Nick's boxers.
Nick tips his head back and lets out a harsh breath. He squirms under Kevin's hands, arching up so fluidly that Kevin has to suck in a sharp breath. Already it's so difficult to think. His head fills with static when his other hand slides up Nick's leg, coarse hair scratching against his palm, and pushes it down slowly until the knee touches the floor. He settles down on top of Nick then and, God, Nick's skin is so hot it might just sear him.
He hovers over Nick, whose eyes are half-lidded and dark when he opens them. He's panting right in Kevin's face, and the flush on his cheeks has spread all the way down to his chest, making his hair look even lighter than usual. His mouth is hanging open and it's so wet, Kevin can't stop staring at it. Slowly, like he's bracing himself for rejection, Nick's hand comes up to grab Kevin's shoulder.
"Don't stop," he rasps, his voice a low and husky sound.
Kevin can't remember when he got hard, can't think that far back when he can barely remind himself to keep breathing, but that voice triggers something in him and his cock throbs in the confines of his briefs. Breathing out heavily, he pushes Nick's knee up to where his elbow is resting and pins Nick's body down with his own, moving his hips into Nick's in one quick jab motion.
"Like this?" he grits out, hair flopping across his sweaty forehead and into his eyes.
Nick's other hand flies up to Kevin's shoulders and his fingers dig in so hard that Kevin nearly crumbles. "Yes," he gasps, eyes wide and dark under eyelashes that cling wetly together. Kevin does it again and Nick's eyelids flutter, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head. They're pressed so tightly together, with Kevin holding Nick's legs open, that all Nick has to do is angle his hips upward and grind to get enough friction. Nick moves with such fast and dirty precision that Kevin's forehead falls to Nick's chest and he groans, completely unable to stop himself.
Nick's just as hard as he is; Kevin can even feel a wet spot on Nick's boxers when he drags his thigh over Nick's groin. The thought of that, the feel of that, and the way Nick just tipped his head back and moaned, makes Kevin's vision blacken at the edges for a long second. Rubbing himself against Nick's thigh, he lets his lips move along Nick's collarbone, open-mouthed, panting against the sweat-salty skin one moment and licking it the next.
Nick's makes a series of half-choked moans that shoot straight down Kevin's spine and into his cock until Kevin can't, can't take it anymore. Making a sound deep in the back of his throat, he lets go of Nick's leg and sits up as quickly as he can manage. Sitting back on his heels, he hooks his fingers into the waistband of Nick's boxers and tugs down, just till he can see the trail of hair that starts at Nick's navel. Nick looks disoriented, but he catches on pretty quick and lifts his hips up to help Kevin along, breathing raggedly into the silence.
Silence. Kevin's not used to it, but he stopped trying to figure out all the things they aren't saying to each other a long time ago. He can't think now anyway, not when he's easing Nick's boxers down his hips and seeing everything, everything. Nick makes a sound, but Kevin barely notices it; his hands are getting increasingly clumsy, which makes it difficult to drag the boxers down all the way. He loses his last shred of patience when they're around Nick's knees and, with a low growl, slides up Nick's body again as he struggles to get his briefs off. Nick's hands fly up to help him, frantically tugging the elastic band as far down Kevin's thighs as he can reach. It's enough.
Nick shivers below him when Kevin aligns their hips and shifts slowly, testing. They're both panting desperately and Nick grabs the back of Kevin's head with shaky fingers, pulling him down until their foreheads are touching. He can feel Nick's lips against his cheek, forming soundless, moist words, and Kevin squeezes his eyes shut and wills himself to hold on just a little bit longer.
Breath hitching, he shifts back and jabs his erection against Nick's, and the sudden moan Nick lets out against his cheek is so hot Kevin has to grit his teeth to bear it. And just like that they're moving, sticky thighs rubbing together, cocks sliding against each other, and it's so good. Their underwear is still around their legs, making it nearly impossible to do more than move like this, but somehow that only turns Kevin on more and without knowing why he grabs one of Nick's hands and forces it over his head.
Nick's hair is clinging wetly to his forehead and temples, his breaths coming hot and fast against Kevin's cheek. His free hand slides through Kevin's hair, fingering the short ones at the back of his neck that are drenched in sweat, then slides down his back in an almost wispy-light touch. He turns his face slightly into Kevin's, making their noses bump, and his lips are moving again, full of words that Kevin can't hear through the roaring in his ears. Nick nudges at Kevin's chin with his own, shuddering deeply and letting out a low moan when Kevin's cock twitches against his.
"Want it," he breathes, hand sliding down the rest of the way to squeeze Kevin's ass, pulling him closer. Their hipbones bump together, both of them getting clumsier by the second, and Nick tips his head back and sighs, "want you."
Kevin's hips snap forward on their own accord, and when Nick's wet, gleaming mouth falls open, Kevin is too far gone to catch himself before he's leaning in.
His lips touch Nick's so lightly that it's almost like it doesn't happen, just mouths hovering impossibly close while they're both gasping rhythmically with each thrust. But Kevin can feel Nick tense under him immediately, staying completely still for one very long second. Then, with an aching sound in the back of his throat, Nick tilts his head a little, hips bucking up as he slides his lips over Kevin's slowly, breath hitching when his tongue just barely grazes Kevin's lower lip. The hand that isn't gripping Nick's tightens impossibly hard in the scratchy carpet as Kevin bears down on him as hard and smoothly as he can, and he swallows the long, torturous moan Nick makes when he starts to come.
Wet heat splatters across their stomachs and Nick arches up sharply, fingers digging into the small of Kevin's back as he fits their open mouths together and gasps-moans, "fuck me," like his survival depends on it, and Kevin barely has time to thrust against Nick one final time before he's coming. His entire body convulses and his head fall to Nick's neck as he snaps for air, feeling, wanting, and he nearly blacks out from how forcefully it wracks his entire body.
When he can pull his thoughts into some kind of coherent order again, they're still breathing pretty heavily, Nick even more so with Kevin's added weight on top of him. But with every bone in his body feeling like it's been liquefied, Kevin's not sure moving will be an option anytime soon.
As their breaths get increasingly more even, the room gets more quiet, reality shifting closer and closer with every breath Kevin tries not to take. Their stomachs stick together when he tries to shift, and he closes his eyes when Nick lets out one last long sigh.
"This what you wanted then?" he asks. His voice comes out raw and husky.
Nick's answering laugh is breathless, his chest rumbling with it under Kevin's ear. He doesn't sound like he wants to laugh at all.
"What I wanted," he repeats slowly, each word said like he has to consider them before he lets them out. Kevin shivers one last time in response.
He supposes it's fair that Nick doesn't have any answers either.
He's cold when he wakes up in the morning. He turns, places his hand just an inch from Nick's waist, and feels the heat.
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